Friday, December 15, 2006

Who Farted?

Liz retells:

Last night I was playing in the final tournament in this season of my poker league. It was late, and I had made it into play at the final of the 3 tables. AWESOME and totally unexpected as I went in with a 1 in 3,200 chance of winning. Seriously. That's what my stat was.

Because it was late, I had been drinking and smoking all night. I was talking to a guy when somebody yelled out, "Who farted? Somebody farted!"



I do not like to be around farts.





I kind of ignored all of the hub bub but they wouldn't let it die. Then the guy I was talking to said, "I think the fart is Austin's breath." WHAT?


OMG.

Then I got all paranoid that MY breath might be mistaken for a fart, so around 10:30, I left. I can think of few things that I might do that would embarrass me more than having the inside of my mouth remind someone of flatulence.

By the way, of 25 players, I ranked 8th in the game. That's good, but payout stopped at 5th place. Oh well. There's always next year and since I'm not the one whose breath smells like an asshole, I'm pretty sure that I will be asked back.

5 comments:

othurme said...

I don't know if you should eat a tic tac or a tums, but try both.

And well done Liz. Can you tell me how your league works? I've never heard of a poker league.

chad said...

question of the day: if the only way to rid yourself of fart-breath were to replace it with breath that smelled of killer's ass-flowers, which would you choose?

Liz said...

Both of you need reminding that it is NOT ME that was accused of breath that wreeks of flatulance!!

Chad,

One can only assume that Ass flowers are mildly less obnoxious than Ass breath. I could be wrong for this decision, but I'd have to go with death over ass breath if forced to choose. I love life and everything, but if you are steadily smelling like asshole and medical wonders can't help, it's time to cash out.

Killer said...

I think your insistence on staying mum while everyone was in an uproar only points to you as an obvious choice.
I have always thought you enjoyed my flatulation during our card playing.

Fishdog said...

always travel with a toothbrush - you could psych out your next opponents at the poker table. imagine their surprise when you whip it out and start brushing!