Sunday, December 03, 2006

Isn't Christmas the Season for Giving?

A plea for generosity from Killer

Top Ten Reasons To Have Sex With Me

  1. Young go getter. Eager to please.
  2. Willing to try new things, with new people, in new places.
  3. Would never suggest "back door action". (unless your into that, then refer to #2)
  4. Very discrete, I probably won't remember your name.
  5. Have read Othur-me's infamous How to eat coochie post multiple times.
  6. Thinks that "size doesn't matter" is grossly wrong. (legal disclaimer: No guarantee of large penis)
  7. STD free since 2003!
  8. Can borrow any needed sex toys from Liz. (she's a perv)
  9. Have some great ideas for role playing. (one where you dress like Chewbacca and I am Luke Skywalker, and we are stuck in the trash compactor on the Death Star...Well you get the idea.)
  10. It is the holidays and I know you can use the extra money.

8 comments:

Liz said...

Sex toys aren't really the sort of thing you borrow from a friend.

The Girl You Used to Know said...

Yeah, I'm with Liz. New sex toys or no deal. And no, running her sex toys through the diswasher with jet dry and cascade does NOT count as "new".

mist1 said...

About the Chewbacca thing...I am in. I throw away tons of money on waxing. Give me six to eight weeks and I'll be a hairy beast.

Anonymous said...

disease free since 2003? Sign me up!

EEK said...

Number ten made me guffaw. Just prior to reading number ten I'd taken a sip of my water. Needless to say, things have gotten messy.

Thanks a lot, Killer.

Killer said...

Liz:
Don't get all "don't touch my sex toys" now. I was there when you bought them, I should have full access.

Anonymous said...

std free since 2003? is this really a selling point? i need to update my list

Anonymous said...

i don't see how you could possibly compile that list, ignoring what may very well be your #1 draw--the ass dance