Thursday, April 19, 2007

1st Round Pick in the Wife Draft

Killer mulling his options.

I received an excellent offer tonight. My little old Filipina patient asked me if I was married. When I replied no, she immediately smiled and said, "You have to marry my Granddaughter." I hear this from Filipinos quite frequently so I kinda blew it off, but she persisted. "My Granddaughters live in the Philippines still, and I want them to come here, so if they marry an American citizen they can come here to live."

How Romantic! I have always suspected my best feature was my citizenship.

I laughed and said, "What does she do in the Philippines?"
"She is in nursing school."
This surprised me, "She doesn't need me, she can get a permanent work visa the day she graduates."
To which she quickly replied, with a stern look, "I have to find her a good American man, or she will marry a free loading Filipino and bring him here with her."

Self loathing racists always amuse me.

Still she persisted, "give me your name and address so I can contact you."
At this point I realized she was very serious, so like any American, I decided to keep leading her on. "What does you Granddaughter look like?"
"She is beautiful, of course."
I was intrigued, but wary of her objectivity. "Would you say I was beautiful?" I asked.
"Oh yes, very beautiful, and strong." She enthusiastically replied.
I gave her a stern look, "I don't trust you now, but flattery will get you everywhere."
"I am going to call my Daughter and she will bring photographs of all my Granddaughters, and you can pick whichever one you want."
I laughed, but she picked up the phone, so I left the room.

I made a straight line to my Filipino co-workers, who are always bunched together. I told them about the offer on the table, and they laughed, but all said I should do it. Then the one male Filipino co-worker said, "Pick the hottest one, but tell them you want first pick of all the Great Grand Children later."

Kind of like baseball, First Round Draft Pick, plus, a Minor League pick to be named at a later date.

I was starting to see why this lady does not like Filipino guys.


Churlita said...

Wow. I've always meant to tell you that I thought your citizenship was totally hot, but I was too shy.

Mayren said...

omg. i ran this post by my filipino boss and she totally thinks your in trouble. Trouble being that the little old filipino patient is definately going to try and negotiate a marriage.

That's funny. I guess a lil' filipino wife that you could pick up and twirl around your finger is cute. My dad's filipino wife couldn't come over here due to other red tape so he moved there and is the equivalent of Apu (from Simpsons) but a white guy. :)

heather said...

ok, remember your post on the 12th of february this year? yes i know that was thiland and your patient is filipino. however....perhaps it's a thought that should go through your mind if you're ever asked to write a few 'friendly' letters to one of her granddaughters.

Red said...

Ahhhh, ha. Best feature is your citizenship. Totally cracked me up.

fringes said...

You have been looking to get laid since the day I discovered your blog. What's the problem now?

heather said...

fringes, laid and married are not synonymous. ;-)