Sunday, April 29, 2007

Five MORE Questions

Killer answering the tough questions

Fringes added a new twist to the rampant interview Meme infecting Blogistan, she paired up complete strangers that read her blog. The person chosen to interview me is Sebastien from Chronically Sick But Still Thinking.

1. As a nurse, do you ever feel weird when you introduce yourself to your patients and they find out your name is Killer?
Well, the one part of my life where Killer is not used, is the hospital. It would probably not go over very well if I walked in and said, "I'm your nurse, my name is Killer, I need to put this up your ass." Luckily, my patients tend to be comatose or heavily sedated, so I don't tell them my name at all. I just shove things up their ass with no foreplay, not even a reach around.

2. Paris Hilton. What does she mean to you? How does she effect your life? Do you love her?
Ms. Hilton disturbs me. She, and her ilk, are an unmentioned sign of the downfall of society. I do not find her attractive in any way. I am hoping she takes up flying, so she can have a proper celebrity ending.

3. What's a more terrible way to die, getting eaten by a shark, or getting eaten by a crocodile? Please explain your choice.
Death by shark would be much more majestic in my opinion. I SCUBA dive, so this is probably how I will go. Crocodiles seem clumsy and stupid to me, and it would be almost offensive to get taken by a Croc. Now that I have said that, I am going to get attacked by a Salt Water Croc while diving in the ocean.

4. You are in a car chase, the police are after you. Here are your questions: what kind of car would you be driving, what kind of weapons would you have in the backseat and trunk, and who would be your co-pilot (and partner in crime)? Oh, and as the chase is taking place, would you still be thoughtful enough to use your turn signals?
I see myself in a post drinking, illegal drive home when the police start their pursuit. My partner in crime would have to be Liz, so we would be in her tiny Toyota. Neither I nor Liz have any serious weapons, so the backseat will be filled with porn or more booze (maybe both). If I was driving, yes, I would be using turn signals, because I do it instinctively. If Liz is driving she would probably not, she is smarter, and hence a better criminal, than me.

5. In a previous blog post, I see that you wrote that you loved living in Missoula. If my memory proves correct, Isn't there a bear that greets visitors at the Missoula airport? Do you find the fact that a bear greets you at the Missoula airport amazingly awesome, or frighteningly dreadful?
Yes, there is a large bear that greets you at the Missoula "International" airport. It is poised in attack mode as well. There are also many, many other dead, taxidermied animals that fill the Missoula airport. I always refer to it as the "airport of death". I really think they should stuff and mount all deceased pilots there to keep with the theme.

Thanks to Sebastien for the questions. I recommend checking out his blog. There is lots of great art work and he was nice enough to ask me some questions.

11 comments:

heather said...

i was kind of worried about this pairing at first but it worked out well. gotta love the job description and i'm glad we're on the same page re: hilton. what a useless waste of a human.

Sebastien said...

Great great answers! Specially love the croc answer, never thought of them as stupid, but now that I think about it, they do seem pretty stupid and clumsy...

It always blew my mind that the Missoula airport had that huge attack mode taxidermied giant bear to greet visitors... haha, taxidermied pilots, now that would be a nice touch!

Thanks for playing along!

fringes said...

Awesome questions. Loved the answers. I'll post the link when I get back from picking up our smaller, no chewing up my house and biting my children puppy.

Julie_Gong said...

when you said that a bear greets visits i was thinking person in a bear suit not stuffed bear. thats kind of disappointing.

Churlita said...

So, you think it's better to have someone shove something up your ass without informing you first? I think I might like to be notified beforehand, just so I could start thinking of England.

Liz said...

You're right about crocs. How many years did my hero, Steve Irwin, spend basically dry humping them and he never got eaten? It was an underwater creature that got him. You seem to grasp the big idea here.

I hate that the law is after us. With your medical knowledge, I think we could come up with a great excuse to get out of the altercation. Something like me saying, "I have to get my friend, Bertha, to a hospital STAT. She has an engorged labia!" Then I point to you and you bat your eyelashes and say, "You wanna see, sailor?"

heather said...

liz, you scare the hell out of me sometimes. lol i just know cheeks is either gonna ~be~ you or befriend you when she gets older.

Babybull40 said...

My first time here.. and Sebastien is the best... isn't he? Anyway I thought I would drop by and say HEY!.. I found you through laughingattheslut's site...Something abpout BBQ... well This is a cool blog.. I shall return...

Killer said...

Babybull 40,
thanks for stopping by, we look forward to disturbing you greatly.

Liz,
I don't think that excuse will work twice.

dmarks said...

" Maybe I could just switch teams and give in to the gay side. "

That's what I love about blogs. Where else can you find sports metaphors and Star Wars metaphors in the same short sentence?

Sebastien said...

Hey, Killer, forgot to put a link to this interview on my blog... I'll do it in my next post, sorry bout that...