Monday, April 02, 2007

Pimp My Ride, Damnit!

Liz Pines for the MTV Days:

I think it's safe to say that my generation is what made MTV. I recall hours of watching videos, thinking George Michael was HOT, and working up my own dance routines to go with the songs. Remember A-Ha's Take Me On? I thought that video was mega. It was then that I decided I wanted to direct videos for a living.

Instead, I make about $150,000 less a year and rarely watch videos anymore.

I remember when Madonna revolutionized what music was and Phil Collins's videos made me like him, even though I hated everything he did except that song about feeling it coming in the air of the night... tonight... whatever. It was the Miami Vice days and you could count on Phil to have the sleeves on his padded jacked rolled and scruntched. His videos, as I recall, were often funny. Bonus points for him and Hewey Lewis and the News.

Now there are very few videos that air on MTV (the original). Everything has been replaced by shows like I Love New York (so awful), spring break stunts, Jackass (I can't watch people get hurt) and Punked. I keep my fingers crossed that someone shoots Ashton Krutcher in the face one day while they're being punked. I certainly wish Ashton the best in his endeavors, I'd just like to see how well those endeavors go when he has a prosthetic ear, cheek, and nose. Preferably made from skin from his ass. I say I can't watch people get hurt, but I am flexible about making exceptions.

I do proudly admit that I still watch some MTV. My favorite show has to be Pimp My Ride. My complaint is that MTV always selects young kids to get their rides pimped. I want my Corolla pimped too and I think I deserve it more! I have a real job and am driving a car on the verge of being a hoopty. Come on MTV, give a middle aged broad a chance!

I almost live out of may car. If I could have a massage table and big screen TV put in, some cool neon pink running lights, a V-8 engine and wireless Internet so I could blog on the go, my life would truly be complete. Here is a simulation of me driving my '02 Corolla to work:

Diego has been in a few fender benders, I may have hit an ample number of poles and backed into a couple of wayward shopping carts. There is a CHANCE that running a stop sign (accidentally, of course) caused my passenger's side headlight to hang loosely. Is it so wrong of me to want X-Hibit to show up at my house and proudly declare, "Liz, girl. You fixin' ta get the pimp put back in your 'Rolla?"

I suspect my chances of getting pimped are about the same as winning the Publisher's Clearinghouse grand prize but I do have an image of what I want firmly planted in my mind. It's something metallic and there are plenty of flames beside the wood-grain. The interior has a kick-ass sound system and a Coke fountain installed. I may not be 18 anymore, but I still want to be the coolest kid pulling up in the parking lot.

The question for today is what do YOU want pimped? And Killer, balls are unpimpable for this challenge.


rayray said...

You really have nothing better to do.

hellohahanarf said...

oh you know i would do the happy dance of joy if htey pimped my 1986 volvo. yes, 1986. yes, volvo. so what if it had been my grandmother's car. she lives in ks now and won't mind. well, so long as i don't tell her that vlad is bumpin. viva la pimp my ride!

Mayren said...

Pimp my Ride is the hella coolest show. I unfortunately will officially not qualify to be on the show in a few months. :(

My hubby was going to check out one of the open calls to get his ride pimped but we never made it... dunno why cause it would have kicked a$$.. I also think Mr. X to the Z Xzibit is cute :) goofy but cute.

Killer said...

I don't like the new body shop guys. They are retarded, and they go overboard on the cars. I would be pissed if I brought in a van and they filled the ENTIRE thing up with speakers.

I want to have my bed pimped. I don't want to have to get out of it for a week. Put a fridge, a microwave, a TV/DVD combo, my computer, and a shitter.
Right now I have all that but the microwave. The shitter is just a bedpan, but I empty every few days, so it is good for now.

LC said...

This post made me laugh so hard I couldn't even breathe.

Liz, I love New York is from VH1 (which is owned by MTV so yeah) and damn that crap is addictive. Ridiculously ghetto, but addictive nonetheless.

I didn't have MTV while growing up. Sad.