Saturday, November 25, 2006

My Cat is an Example of the Cosmic Order of the Universe

Meow.... purr.....hiss

So, I write this post that outlines my questioning about God and religion and other light fodder. That's a good thing. Thinking, good, right? And I'm still thinking about it... because there is nothing good on TV and it's too early to start cleaning the house.

I thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you how I met my cat, Leon, and how I think that he was destined to be my cat. At risk of sounding like a man "Pussy made me believe in God," I reveal for you the story of one cat and his journey to being my feline soul mate.

I had a roommate. He was a good roommate. He took out the trash, he mowed, he kept his part of the house relatively clean, he paid his bills, he did not fart in my presence. What more could a girl ask for? But he moved away. And when he moved there was an opportunity.

I grew up around pets and I love animals, but a dog is too much work for me. Sometimes I don't come home for over 24 hours and I do NOT like having my carpet shit on, so I knew I would need to get a cat. Plus, in all honesty, I like cats better. They don't have the heart of a dog but they also aren't needy with big breath and obnoxious odors. I am a cat person.

I had mentioned my "desire", my musing, my consideration to some co-workers. Mistake. If you say you are thinking about getting a cat people are on you like white on rice. "my mom's cat JUST had a litter of kittens...." "my neighbor's cat JUST had a litter of kittens...." "my brother sells Siamese kittens and his cat JUST had a litter...." "my cousin is moving and has a cat she has to give away..." Damn. Back off! Why don't people act this way when I say something like, "I'm thinking about buying a new dishwasher"?

I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted a kitten, not a cat. Male, short-haired, long tailed, and gray. Pretty specific. Once I provided those specifications, there was no cat to be found. I told people that was ok, I was in no rush. I'd find him.

Fast forward two weeks.

I'm standing in front of the Clarion Hotel (don't ask why) and I hear this "meow"- prompted for no reason. I follow the sound to a 25-foot long PVC pipe laying against the building. I look in and see the silhouette of a tiny little fur ball. Obviously it is either a ventriloquist rat or a kitten. Some men exit the hotel and I enlist their services. Within 5 minutes the fur ball has been shaken from the pipe and out pops a male, short-haired, long tailed gray kitten.


This kitten started out psychotic; afterall, he was totally "street"- he had no manners. Over the past 4 years, he has found a rhythm that synchs perfectly with mine. He's my heart! He knows my moods, he knows my hot buttons, he knows when to seek attention and when to back away. We jive and I love him. He's EXACTLY what I wanted. He's smart, intuitive, and funny. He's independent and "high order". He's not an idiot cat like my other one. It's like Leon is higher on the evolutionary scale or something. He listens and understands some things. Sneaker just eats and poops and is an animal. Leon is a friend.

Coincidence or divine intervention?


Killer said...

You are killing me with these "two a days".

I think your cat is a snob. He does not like anyone, but you. I think that is why you like him so much.

A lot of cats are like that, "You don't put food in my bowl, so Fuck off."

Liz said...


You are no longer welcome in my home.


Liz said...

My Sunday post-posting comment:

I'm going to slack off the posting for a while until you catch up. I know you're not working, you're out there enjoying the sunny Cali days and the bikinis. How DARE you be getting fresh air and site-seeing while I'm getting carpal tunnel picking up your slack! Get your ass in gear. I need a chuckle.