Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanksgiving: Let the Turkey Fly!

Liz whisks this:

My mother has had a rough year. Chemo- a couple of different times- surgeries, etc. So, being the awesome first born I am, I offered to the whole Thanksgiving deal at my house this year.

Me on the phone with Lil Bro: OK. So, we'll do Thanksgiving at my place. I'm doing a ham instead of a turkey.

Lil Bro: WHAT? It's TURKEY DAY! You CANNOT do a ham on TURKEY DAY.

ME: I'm doing a ham. Can ya'll bring rolls and broccoli-rice casserole? If you'll do that, I'll fix green beans, mashed potatoes, a stuffed cranberry sauce, pumpkin something, corn, and I'll do the dressing.

Lil Bro: YOU'LL do the DRESSING instead of Dad? Great. Thanksgiving is ruined. I'll just call ya'll from deer camp and wish you a happy Thanksgiving. This is the worst holiday ever. RUINED. Why don't you just have sushi and be done with it? How more could you fuck up the holiday? My God. I look forward to this holiday all year and now it's going to all "metro". Great.

Long Pause.

Lil Bro: Will there be leftovers for me to take to deer camp?

Now the plan is as follows:

Lil Bro brings broccoli casserole and rolls
Mom and Dad do: dressing, gravy, lemon merigune pie, sweet potato casserole, mustard greens, ham... AND turkey
Liz brings two cans of corn and a pumpkin pie.

Don't you just love it when a plan comes together?


Cover Your Mouth said...

Broccoli-rice casserole. Yum.

othur-me said...

My family alternates Thanksgivings between my parents' house and my sister's house.

My mom can cook pretty well, but always asks me to help. You see, I'm the best cook in the family. Really. After my first attempt at college I was faced with a choice. Recording School or Culinary School. I incorrectly chose Recording School, but I'm still a really fucking good cook.

My sister. Can't cook at all. Every year I offer to help by bring something. She always declines. Every year the turkey is dry, the stuffing is bland, and mashed potatoes are runny.

Last year we had Thanksgiving at my sister's, so I was looking forward to a great meal this year. I almost cried last week when my mom called to inform me that Thanksgiving would AGAIN be at my sister's house. FUCK!

Killer said...

I am going to eat a stoufers turkey and dressing frozen dinner, drink a whole lot of "Buffalo Bill's Pumpkin Ale", and pass out in a lonely stupor. My family is in Mississippi and I am in California.

Actually I am going to work, and the hospital will probably feed us, while paying me almost double to be there on a holiday. Don't cry for me Argentina.

othur-me said...

Killer, I totally would have invited you to my sister's house for Thanksgiving, but I've seen what you where to parties and there will be small children there.

Liz said...

Cover- Yes, yum. But my brother's wife is cooking it and she isn't known for her culinary skills. Broccoli-rice is her one dish. We'll see. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.


I also cook well but my brother will not concede this. Because my cooking isn't always down-home country, he feels like his masculinity is being violated every time he eats something I've made.

Killer- should I Fed Ex you bowl of Dad's dressing? It's to die for. Since you're getting paid so much to work, I'll send it COD if you're interested. I would also like some fresh California treats shipped this way. Something unusual but something without a noticable odor. **Do not send me an immig... you know, I'm not even going to finish that. It sounds so obnoxious. I'm better than that.

othur-me said...

"he feels like his masculinity is being violated every time he eats something I've made"

You may be using too much lavender.

chad said...

two sure signs that you're celebrating thanksgiving in an asian country (as i am): 1) duck instead of turkey; 2) chopsticks instead of knife and fork