Tuesday, November 28, 2006

You're Thankful? Me Too!

Liz says:

I've been hearing a lot about being thankful for stuff. I guess because it's the holiday season and THANKSGIVING was this past weekend. I am thankful for things too. Those things include:

  • Never having any sort of crotch issue- no yeast infections, rashes, or worse. Thank you.
  • Only having two nipples that belong to me. I once knew a girl who everyone SAID had 3 titties. So does/did Marky Mark. Yet he managed to be a Calvin Klein underwear model. I'm still glad it was him with three nips instead of me.
  • Not having the money to get that tattoo Jody and I went to get. Hell, I was only 20. It would have been some dumbass hippie-looking tattoo that I would now see as an ever-fading reminder of my ever-fading youth. I'm GLAD I thought $12 was all I would need. The blessing of stupidity.
  • I have excellent teeth and I know how to use them. No braces, no cavities since 11, and little effort when flossing. I'm really lucky on this one.
  • I am very thankful that I can drink until past sunrise and still not puke. I've only puked from drinking maybe 5 times in 20 years. I think that's a pretty lucky record. The last time I DID puke from drinking, however, was BAD. I think it took over 12 hours before I had totally purged. That was unlucky, but fortunate in that I did not cause my kidneys to shut down and my liver to go into toxic spasms. I also left the place I had been with $160 more than I walked in with. Lucky.
  • I've never gotten a speeding ticket, yet I speed everytime I'm in the car. In related news, I've given a lot of blow-jobs on the side of the Interstate. Double thank you.
  • I'm also thankful that I can make a blow-job joke and you're not quite sure if I'm kidding or simply exaggerating...or neither. ">:-[


mist1 said...

I love it when people post about flossing.

othur-me said...

Mist - me too! Oh wait...I thought you said blow jobs.

Anonymous said...

I'll add that nipple thing to my list of things to be thankful for, boy, you're an inspiration!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to thank all those people who gave and those who did not give their comments to my blog...who gave their comments to this blog...and to all the other blogs we cannot be thankful enough to say "Thank You" showing our appreciation, thankfulness, acknowledgment, recognition, gratitude, gratefulness. give thanks to all...