Sunday, November 26, 2006

Sunday's Second Post: Movie Rant

Liz is not Happy:

Happy Feet. The number one movie for two weeks in a row? The movie Rotten Tomatoes gave high praise to? Uhhhhhh... Awful.

I took my BFF's daughter to see Happy Feet Friday. You would think by the title that Happy Feet was a light-hearted romp. You would be wrong.

The movie experience started off badly. In the advertisements before the previews (which is a whole other RANT) they showed these still photos of real estate agents, local boutiques, etc. but the background music was SCARY. Like that music when Darth Vader enters the room or the snake rattle you hear on Deal or No Deal when someone has selected the $750,000 case. A very poor choice for a movie geared toward little kids.

Then came the push for Pirates of the Caribbean DVD. They showed the ghost ship and the guy whose face looks like an octopus and it too was booming and loud and bone-chilling. DAMN! We're here to see HAPPY FEET, not SHIT YOUR PANTS.

Finally the movie. This movie was not joyful holiday fodder. This movie was not funny. This movie was not happy. This movie was an ethical lesson on how humans have destroyed the ecosystem and, through our carelessness, are killing cute furry wildlife.

OK. I agree, but I don't want to pay Warner Brothers $12 to teach me and my 6-year old Godchild that lesson. I was depressed when we left... which means I had to stop and get a 6-pack, which means there's one more six pack ring floating in a landfill to get wrapped around some bird's neck.

And I will officially claim that I now hate Robin Williams. He needs to stop trying to be a black voice-over actor, take some Ritilan, and retire with his millions. He quit being funny once he stopped being Mork and once I got older than 9. The best thing he ever did was a guest spot on Happy Days. For most us, that would be more than enough.


Mel Francis said...

Wow. Thank God I'm not alone. I hated this movie so much I blogged about it twice and I posted a 1 star review on IMDB.

Then I spent the last week hunting for other like-minded individuals--and finding them few and far between. Why does everyone like this movie!? ACK!

Anyway, Hi. Thanks for being there for me in my time of need.

Red said...

Ha, love the idea of your 6-pack killing even more wildlife. Also, when does Shit Your Pants open nationwide?

mist1 said...

I wonder what Robin's first movie after rehab will be?

Liz said...

Mel, I like you already. We are obviously superior to others of our species.

Red, Again you make me laugh out loud.

Mist 1, His first movie out of rehab will be CRAP.

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