Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Exit Stage Left

Killer, blogging on the run.

I have officially packed the last of my crap and loaded up the moving van. I now have to move everything to a storage unit in Jackson, MS, then drive my Jeep to California. I am starting a job in Sacramento in a few weeks.

Before Memphis I was a travel nurse for many years. A travel nurse, or Nurse Whore, as I like to be referred, is a nurse who works three to six months any place there is a nursing shortage. Luckily for me, there is a nursing shortage everywhere. I keep going to Northern Cali, because they pay more than anyone else, and money is key to all of us whores.

I love moving into a new town. I love to get lost and drive around for hours until I figure out where I am. I have gotten very good at it. The first thing I do is look up every brewery in a fifty mile radius and go get my drink on. You can pretty much name almost any major city in America and I will be able to discuss, in detail, the breweries. I can only understand where you work or live, if you tell me where it is relation to a brewery. I also realize that cirrhosis of the liver is an awful way to die, but I plan to drink my way through that as well. On a positive note, yellow is my favorite color, and being jaundice is really big with liver failure.

I have grown fond of Memphis. There are not many cities that have a BBQ joint on every corner, and Elvis' image plastered on everything that does not move. I'm not joking, the hospital I worked at is the Elvis Presley Memorial Trauma Center (I like to add "and rib shack" to the end, but it tends to confuse people.) Our specialty was treating people who suffer from a drug over dose while having a bowel movement.
Memphis really is a cool town, I recommend you check it out some time if you are down this way.

I am going to haul ass across America in a "Cannon Ball Run" inspired 3 day trek. I like to drive and pretend I am in a race with the people around me. I like to think of myself as Burt Reynolds, but deep down I know that I would really be Dom Deluise. I plan to blog from the road, most hotels have high speed access in the rooms now. 12 hours of straight driving leaves me alone with my thoughts for a long time. After that much "me" time I am always quite hysterical by the time I get to the hotel. It should make for either a really good blog, or some really incoherent gibberish.

Being in close proximity to San Francisco will also give me a chance to track down one of Othur-me's music gigs and heckle him. Actually I would not heckle him, but I do love good music.


othur-me said...

Killer, heckle away. I band plays "I Had The Time Of My Life" (this song slays the crowds and fills the dance floor EVERY time. We deserve it a little

When in Sac, you will have access to a lot of good microbreweries. The mecca of microbreweries (at least for Californians) is Sierra Nevada in Chico (not far from Sac). Its one of my favorite breweries.

Drive safe.

charapa said...

We are going to miss you so much in the TICU!!!!! Have a safe trip and come back soon....

Liz said...

I feel a little nostalgic for some weird reason.

I think you were born a traveling man. I mean, you told me that Memphis was IT... you were putting down roots. What happened? Since I'm posing questions: Jackson, Mississippi? Is THIS permament or do you know this is a drive by?

See you soon!

Liz said...

One othur thing: I DO hope you guys get to meet. Is that totally gay sounding? Because I really wish it. And I hope that it's as awkward as a first blind date. And I hope you EACH blog about it from your perspective on your site.

I wish I was there to see this shit go down.

Killer, wear your bunny outfit.

Killer said...

Othur, yes I have been to the "promised land", Sierra Nevada in Chico. I did an apprenticeship in Larkspur at Marin Brewing on the North bay.
If you guys play "I had the time of my life", I will do a dance solo in the bunny suit. I have started wearing it, pretty much, under all my clothes. Just in case.

fringes said...

Travel safely! Why are you taking your stuff to Jackson?

Margaret said...

incoherent gibberish is my favorite blogging

gatey said...

Hey Killer,

It has been nice having you here even if we didn't hang out seemed to make it easier to get Disco out of c-ville when there were two friends badgering him to go see a show or camp in a big-ass field in middle TN with thousands of nasty wooks just to catch a couple shows.

Anyway, hope you have fun in cali and make it back to Memphis at some point. Maybe on the next go-round I won't have an infant that pretty much destroys any chance at a regular social life.


gatey (the poser)

Killer said...

Liz, yes that does sound gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Fringes, I am taking all my crap to Jackson because that is my permanent residence (tax base), my family lives there, and I have a storage unit to pile my few things in.

Charapa, I will miss you guys also.

othur-me said...

Liz - I'm not against meeting Killer, but your comment is lathered in gay anticipation. There seems to be a tinge of that going around this blog since the bunny suit appeared.

Killer - I bet I could charge double if you dance in the bunny suit at all of my gigs. I'll totally split the overage with you and make myself some extra cash selling videos of it to all your friends.

EEK said...

I'll bet brewery tours are a good place to make friends in a strange town. Friends with interests that coincide with yours.

I'm relieved to hear the bunny suit is going to make the trip.

Have a safe trip. I'm looking forward to the roadside hysterics.

mist1 said...

I know a woman who has cirrhosis of the elbows. They're all dry and scaly.

farley said...


There's a brewery in Half Moon Bay I've been meaning to go to...So when you come visit me, we will go. And the bunny suit it totally optional.

Joey said...

Don't sell yourself short. I can see the Burt Reynolds in you even if you can't see it yourself

Crankster said...

Elvis Presley Memorial Trauma Center? I had an Elvis Presley memorial trauma once. I accidentally heard David Hasselhof singing "Love Me Tender."

I still shiver whenever I remember the horror.

fringes said...

Half Moon Bay is the prettiest place I've visited in California. Call me on brewery visit day and I'll be the gal pal for the day.