Saturday, November 11, 2006

Why You Should Date Me

Liz tries to save her tarnished image:

In a previous post I went on and on and on listing the characteristics that make me undateable. When am I going to learn to let OTHERS point out my faults instead of doing that myself? I was kidding with 6 of the reasons, but I won't tell you which 6 they are.

Add that to the list: Keeps secrets only when the secrets do not matter.

Because obviously no one is going to do it for me, I'll give you the reasons you SHOULD hook me up with your handsome, wealthy brother with the "massive killer cock" (see Killer's post below to better understand where THAT came from).

Here is a sampling of some of the wonderful things about me as your girlfriend:
  • Cooks well
  • Owns a variety of perfumes and lotions
  • Action movies and comedies
  • A man's woman
  • Loathes nagging
  • Encourages you to sleep at your own place
  • Beer
  • Football
  • Baseball
  • Poker
  • Wants you to be happy
  • Gives a mean back rub
  • Good hair
  • Not clingy
  • Will always have cereal available
  • WANTS you to hang out with your friends more
  • Your good deeds get noticed
  • Will let you drive
  • Does not experience PMS

Now see? From Grade-A, independent, strong-willed bitch to affectionate, thoughtful, domestic kitten in two blogs. Just call me Sybil. But here is the one thing that trumps all others:

  • Big boobs with ample cleavage

There. I feel good about myself again. The match-making may begin NOW.


othur-me said...

Now I don't know which post to believe.

Killer said...

Can you be more specific about the type of cereal?

You forgot to list, Can drink you under the table, to your list.

othur-me said...

I've decided to believe the one with the word boobs in it. They trump everything.

mist1 said...

Damn. I still have nothing to offer.

chad said...

i've spent the last couple of hours catching up on about a month's worth of your blog--i'd like to say i've neglected you guys due to a flurry of constant activity, but y'all would probably guess the real reason. killer: that bunny suit. i've not seen anything that disturbing since you gave bam the ass dance back in c.r. liz: i'll vouch for you on the back rubs and the cooking, but i've personally witnessed you hug many a brady in the straight on fashion. disco: thanks for saving me the need to correct killer regarding that mishap en route to chapel hill

Liz said...


Welcome back to the blogosphere! You are right. I do hug Brady's full-on- but, like we all know, Brady's are the exception to many a rule.

Margaret said...

i feel lioke a looser

chad said...

we brady's rule