Wednesday, January 03, 2007

I Resolve To Resolute

A New Start For Killer

I don't want to say my New Years Resolution is to lose weight. It is more of a resolution to not die of a Myocardial Infarction or get Diabetes and have my toes fall off. I like my toes. They are hairy and I can pick things up off the floor with them, instead of bending over. That might be why I have a weight problem.
Resolution 1: Bend Over

I need to get out more, maybe quit working so much. When you work a lot that tends to be all you post about. It becomes an endless cycle: Work, Sleep, Write about work, Think about sleep. If I could expand my horizons I could spread my blog topics around. There by helping expand your lives as well.
Resolution 2: Spread 'em

I have to work so I can be off in the summers. The world won't come to me, so I have to go to it. In the mean time, I am going to have to squeeze as much excitement into the few hours I have off from work. I will have to literally fling myself out into the world and cram as much adventure in as I can tolerate.
Resolution 3: Cram It

So to recap here are my official resolutions for 2007:

1. Bend Over
2. Spread 'em
3. Cram It

Gosh, that sounds a little disturbing once it is all put together. Then again, considering how well my resolutions usually pan out, it might be the most accurate plan of action. However, this does lead me to a fourth resolution.

Resolution 4: Make Posts Less Sexually Deviant


Mayren said...

aww come on.. get rid of the 4th resolution now before you break it into a million pieces. Besides. Noone would cuddle up to this blog without deviant language. It's a staple .

Fringes said...

This is one of my First Daily Blog Stops. For good reason. You make me laugh even while sitting in my toxic government cubicle contracting cancer.

Churlita said...

What the hell is the point of a blog that isn't sexually deviant?

I love the work posts too. But when you say you need to bend over and spread 'em, it seems like you might be planning on visiting a prison on those vacations you're planning to take.

EEK said...

I agree. Stick with the first three if you must, but ignore the fourth.

Mel Francis said...

The first 3 together sounds like foreplay...there's nothing sexually deviant about that. so, ignore #4...

briliantdonkey said...

Found my way here via fringes who reccomends you often. I also see you comment over there all the time and have been meaning to find my way over here. Get rid of the deviant language? I am dying laughing here cause your blog apparently intends to fight this idea to the death.......I SWEAR my word verification is "XXLICK"!