Monday, January 29, 2007

Kade, welcome home. Here's a cheesburger.

Killer, proud Uncle, but wants more.

I have made back to Mississippi and have managed to spend a few days with my new nephew. He drools, makes funny noises, and his head just flops around. He is kind of like a stroke victim, but in a small, convenient travel size.

His name is Kade. At first this bothered me since it seemed a little strange, and I am never going to be able to find fake license plates or key chains with his name on them. Now, I have grown to like it. I am going to save a ton of money on crappy tourist gifts.

My sister is doing great as a first time mom, she is a Neonatal Intensive Care nurse, so she knows what to do in an emergency. But, it frightens me when she is breast feeding and talks about how easy it would be to put an IV in Kade's head, as she lovingly traces the veins along his scalp. (For those who don't know, that is where they put them in babies.) It is hard to turn off certain skills.

He eats A LOT, and in my family that is pretty much normal. The first thing I told him he was thrust into my arms was, "I'm sorry, but you are going to be fat. You have no choice."
My family home is in some sort of cosmic worm hole that prohibits weight loss and acts as an appetite stimulator. Even the dogs are fat. My Mother has a miniature pincher that looks like a black watermelon with four toothpicks holding it up. Every time I come home he gets really excited and runs maniacally around the room. I can't help but plan out how to do CPR on a small dog, for when he invariable has a small doggy coronary.

I am going to enjoy this little kid. I hope he can fight off the family curse obesity but keep the family gift of smart assedness.


Mayren said...

*CHEERS* Congrats Unky Killah.

I'm sure you can keep the kid informed and educated on the fine art and mastery of Smart-ass sarcastic Wit without Kade becoming a student of total jack-assery.
Dammit - My Lil Bro just got engaged.... he needs to produce a little niece or nephew for me now too.

Liz said...

Unless he's mute, he'll be a smart ass.

Churlita said...

The aunt/uncle gig is very sweet indeed.

I still do that too. If I see veins popping out of people's arms, I say, "Wow. You'd be really easy to draw blood from." It's a real turn-on for guys. I don't know why I haven't dated in several years.

fringes said...

Very sweet. Kade sounds like a cowboy's name.

Chris said...

Lucky for you Killa, he WILL be a smartass, his Bella, Pops, Daddy, Uncle Prison, & YOU are ALL Smartasses!!!

Love his Momma

briliantdonkey said...

Congrats on the new nephew. I have a nephew named cade as well. I too was fairly worried about the possible lack of smartassedness, but it is genetic. Don't worry.