Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Liz listens in:

I used to teach elementary school but have since moved into corporate America. It's been 7 years since I was in a classroom. I've morphed into a single business woman that sees little practical value in children. Oh, Killer tries to argue that they are our future but I know that they're just drains on the economy.

In this transition I've lost the few teacher qualities I had: I don't own any sweater vests or denim jumpers, I don't gossip near as much as I used to, my ability to average scores no longer exists and I hardly ever spank anybody. I am, however, still working on a Master's Degree in elementary education started long ago. I've been working on this degree for about 6 years.

<> Only 4 classes to go, I can't quit now.

I find that it is painful for me to be around teachers of young children. Especially when I am interacting with these "adults" at a private religious college. Excruciating, really.

These are things I've overheard in my Graduate classes:
  • I'll be right back. I've got to go potty.
  • Oh! Poo Doo La Rue! You're kidding?
  • I totally didn't print out the module for this class until LAST WEEK! ((giggle)). I didn't do any of the prework! Well, except what was on pages 1 and 2.
  • Freud seemed to like to talk about ummm... "privates", didn't he? That's just sad.
  • Professor says: Let's do a 20 minute break. A student says: We usually get 15.

In every class I've taken at this school, there is at least one class where at least one woman starts to weep. The reasons are varied but it's a guarantee that before this semester is over I am going to see yet another grown woman sob. It could be because she made a "C" on a paper, or it could be because something sad happened at school, or it could be because she forgot her notebook or it could be because her neighbor's brother's roommate is getting sent to Iraq.

I try not to judge. Seriously. But I am totally bewildered and very out of place in this environment.

We take prayer requests before every class. While they're praying that Grammy's dog Muffin makes it through her leg surgery, I'm praying that an epidemic of lockjaw will overtake campus. Does that make me a bad person?

Only 4 classes to go...

Pray for me.


Red said...


Mel Francis said...

"oh poo do la rue"?


Mayren said...

#1 your at a religious college... what did you really expect?

#2 Good Luck isn't all you'll need to get through your last 4 classes.... behave or i'll send you to a Time out Missy!

Killer said...

Ahhh, the sweet embrace of a strict Southern Christian college. I feel your pain sister, I did my time at a notoriously uptight Southern Baptist college.
You now need to do a presentation on the "secret sexual names" that might be spoken by young kids, things their parents might be exposing them to at home.
A long presentation on the Dirty Sanchez, the Glass Bottom Boat, and the Cleveland Steamer.

mist1 said...

My prayers fall on deaf ears. Sorry. I'll cheer for you. That's almost as good.

Churlita said...

Are you allowed to bring a gun to class, just in case you can't take it anymore? I bet you could inspire their class prayer that way.

Liz said...

Thanks, Red. I knew I could count on you.

Mel, I WISH.

Mayren, I swear we had a class together. You called me Missy. I get that A LOT when I'm around teachers.

Killer, As usual, you're of no help.

Mist, It's good to know that God hates you. I'll keep that in mind.

Churl, Although it scares me to admit this, I do have fantasies.