Sunday, January 14, 2007

A True Rant On Passwords and Logins

Liz decodes:

A long time ago passwords were cool. Masons with their "Humbled at his feet, together we meet", safe houses with three knocks and a "I know Rufus", "open sesame" from Arabian Nights, even "JOSHUA" from 1983's War Games. Today, passwords are a mundane reality in all of our lives. You even have to type in a code before being able to post a comment on Blogger.

I for one, have had it.

I've tried having the same user ID and password for everything. That doesn't work. Some sites require numbers, some do not. On some web pages I don't want my name visible, on some my name won't show so I use that as my login. At, I'm "Hold'emOrFold'em", for yahoo! I'm "cupofcoffee4248", for my bank I'm "1needscash". I have unique passwords for my work computer, my credit card website, a PIN for my debit card. It's getting to the point where I can't remember who I am anymore!

Recently I was entering my PIN number at a convenience store and got it wrong. The woman behind the counter stared suspiciously as I tried for a third time to enter the magic 4-digit combination. I didn't like her look of distrust, the impatience of the man behind me in line, the implication that I was using someone else's card. It was just a brain fart, nothing else. Enough already! I've had it with all the secrets. I want one code that is universal. One ID that will get me in everywhere I want to go. One password that is easy to remember and makes sense, unlike my "84roju99mgr" password given to my by an old credit union.

I don't really want "them" to know what I'm doing and when I am doing it, but when you think about it, "they" already do, so what's the difference? It's just one more piece of privacy we all give up because society demands it. Come on, your phone records? Not private. Badging into work? It's like having a GPS attached to your belt. Pay at the pump? Not if you called in sick that day! I remember during the Enron scandal (or one of the others) that personal diaries were subpoenaed for use in court. There is no privacy, so why make me remember so many codes and passwords?

The technology to use finger-print ID has to be ready, I guess the public just isn't willing yet. Would it freak you out to have a scanner on your home and work computers where your print was read as the means of accessing personal information? Is that too Big Brother or Communist China or Minority Report or Bush administration or something?

As someone who has not committed any major crimes but is always thinking about it, I have mixed feelings. The password for getting into my pants is "AnotherVodka". Isn't that really all one needs to know?


chad said...

can i buy you a drink?

mist1 said...

I dated a man once who used the same password for almost everything. It was BEER. Or 2337. I still check his email from time to time.

Killer said...

The only password I can ever remember is for my porn site. I use it most often.

EEK said...

I’m a system administrator for this project system at work and one time this guy was having trouble logging in. I asked him for his password so that I could give it a try, and he abashedly told me that it was ‘thisprojectsucks’.

I laughed and laughed. I can’t remember half of my passwords either.

Liz said...

I LOVE "thisprojectsucks"! Between that at BEER, you guys may have solved my problem!

Wavemancali said...

I'm a network administrator. I have the bizarre ability to memorize all employee passwords.... think I can remember my own? Ha!

al said...

I reset passwords a lot at work. And the people who get me are the ones who are like, "I haven't changed my password, so I don't know how this could have happened...angry yelling blah." So, I let them reset it, and then, when they walk away, I reset it again so they'll have to come back.

They don't know how it happens...but I do.

Please note: I only do this with the real asses. With everyone else I'm nothing but pleasant.

Liz said...


You are welcome at this blog ANY time!! NICE